Just your everyday cannibal

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. - H. L. Mencken

"The only reason you're still alive is because someone has decided to let you live."

 "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live.  Life is no brief candle for me.  It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

"You need to make the clitoris your friend.

What kind of friend is always hiding?" 

                                   "Life's a bitch. And she's back in heat." 

 The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. – L.P. Hartley

             "It Is All A Joke! Everything Anybody Ever Valued Or Struggled For...It Is All A Monstrous, Demented Gag! So Why Can't You See The Funny Side? Why Aren't You Laughing?"  

  "KILL, KILL, KILL! NOTHING SHALL STAND BETWEEN US AND THE CEREAL BAR!"
-The Violent Council of Breakfast

   "Remember back in Elementary school when you did fire drills? And they made you keep quiet and stay in a single file line going from smallest to tallest? Where's the logic in that? Do taller people burn slower?"

"Camouflage is the color of fear. I have no need to hide from my foes. I have no fear of death. My colors I wear openly, they proclaim louder than words, “I am proud to live – I am proud to die!"  

                               "I have a boner. No, wait, I am a boner!"

 "It is NOT rape; I put a bow on it."

"Life is like a pair of open blinds. There's light and dark strips."

"Without guns, there's knives, without knives, there's sticks, poles, clubs, bats, without them, there's stones, without stones, any man can kill you with their bare hands."

   ""In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."           

 ""The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster; cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites."

"Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." 

        " "I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."
"Excuse me?"
"The..party..the pants...with the pants."
"Brick, are you trying to say there's a party in your pants and I'm invited?"
"That's it!"

                       "Make awkward sexual advances, not war!"

 "God give me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the strength to carry and bury the bodies of anyone who pisses me off in the process."

"There comes a time in your life where you must ask yourself, why the fuck do I ask myself questions."       

                                      What is black, white, and red all at the same time?

-A penguin with a slit throat.                                                                                           

A nun in a blender.                                          

--Micheal Jackson in a blender XDD      

                        "In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it wasn't, was."                                                     

   "If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk."

"What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One's plastic, and dangerous to children, and the other is for carrying groceries."

                                                                                                                                                                                                        "When you're a cannibal, every fight is a food fight!"

                      "I thought you were a doctor, supposed to heal people!" "I am. Your stupidity was terminal. You've been cured."

       "Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."

                                      "Why are single men skinnier then married men? A single man goes to the fridge, sees something he wants, and goes to bed. A married man goes to the bed, sees something he doesn't want, and goes to the fridge."

                                                               "The most dangerous thing in the world is a closet full of wire hangers."

          "If the first grape you eat is bitter then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one "

"Sometimes, I wonder why that frisbee's getting bigger...........and then it hits me."

                                           "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."

                                                                                         "While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die."
                                                                                                                                                                                      

                "We're not outnumbered, we just have more possible target selections than the enemy."                

          ""Life is like a penis. When it's hard, you get screwed. "